She said these cookies were “no damn good”
Posted: October 23, 2014 Filed under: Recipe | Tags: Baking and Confections, recipe, vintage cookbook 14 CommentsMy grandmother disliked this recipe so much she took a fountain pen and made sure she’d never make the same mistake twice.
I’ve always been amused by this one-and-only note in a cookbook I inherited from her. Is it really all THAT bad? I mean, this is a published cookbook and all…
Curiosity got the better of me. I had to try it for myself. Here’s the full recipe:
It sounds simple enough. There are no weird ingredients or instructions. What could go wrong?
I’m skeptical, so I cut the recipe in half. And I’m not making any variations. Less waste if it goes south.
First, cream the “wet” stuff…
I won’t eat icing made with shortening (ugh!!!) so I won’t want to lick the beater after this creams.
Mix in the dry stuff.
More mixing. Isn’t this thrilling?
The finished dough has the look and consistency of slightly wet sand. But I’m not at the beach.
I’ve seen graham cracker crumb crusts looking about like this. Maybe there is still hope.
I tried to make rolls. Honest! But it wasn’t easy getting the dough to cooperate.
Waxed paper seems 1950s vintage appropriate for this recipe. After much man handling (woman handling?) they’re ready to pop in the fridge.
………………………… That’s a looooong interlude in which I go to bed, get up again and go to work.
I took them out of the fridge. They had plenty of time to chill and hopefully congeal magically into cookie dough.
Can I make “thin slices”? Heck no!
Crumbly cookie disaster!
She was right! This recipe IS “no damn good”!
I turned off the oven and shoved all the crumbly “dough” into a plastic container in the fridge.
Can this dough be saved? How would you fix it?
luray
janeray
dish sisters vintage home and housewares 
I have no idea how to save it, but I sure got a kick out of this post! I’m so glad you tried it. Now you know!
Thanks for stopping by and commenting! I think I might have a crumble topping for pie or cobbler.
It wasn’t like Grandma to swear, much less to leave it for posterity in blue Scripto ink, so this recipe must be bad indeed!
I shoulda learned from her mistake!
This is so funny! I can just hear your grandma saying this. She must have been so mad at those cookies. I wonder if she tried them more than once. I told Joel he had to read it too. The only thing I can think to salvage them is, first to try one panfull as is. They might melt together with heat. If that doesn’t work I might try adding some butter, melted, just enough to make them stick. If I was to try the recipe again, I’d use half brown and half white sugar. Brown just does not cream well.
Maybe stay tuned! I might try some of the suggestions. Can’t get worse, can it? 🙂
Make a cookie “pizza” topped with chocolate chips & nuts & coconut
You’re making my mouth water just thinking about that! It might work as a bar cookie.
Okay, I did five minutes of digging and found this same cookbook (with a 1939 copyright, what year is Grandma’s copy?) at openlibrary.org. There is no recipe for “Standard Refrigerator Cookies” in it. But there is a recipe for “Icebox Cookies.” Makes 3 doz. Here are the proportions: 1 1/2 c butter & shortening, 2 c brown sugar, 5 c flour, 4 eggs. So a lot more liquid ingredients to bind the dry. Grandma’s recipe wouldn’t work no matter what she did! And with all that shortening in it . . . I’d throw it out to the squirrels. 🙂
So that has double the flour and three more eggs than I used. Before I indulge the local pigeons I might try salvaging it. More kitchen mishaps that no one will ever post on Pinterest!
That is the greatest comment and the “damn” just makes it classic. Can only imagine her frustration over a recipe that did not work.
Definitely! It would have been a huge waste of ingredients if she tried the full recipe. I should have believed her!
I can only imagine your Grandmother laughing and telling you “I told you so”.
I should have listened! 🙂