The dough that wouldn’t die

I had to try to salvage the dough from the awful recipe my grandmother (correctly) said was “no damn good”. What if it only needed a little tweaking? What a waste to toss out all that good sugar!

The consensus seemed to indicate a little more moisture was in order. So I measured out some shortening, cracked an egg and dumped them in my trusty Kitchenaid mixer.

This ought to goop it up a bit…

It took a lot of mixing to get it creamed, then I added the crumbly stuff.

So much shortening! I wasn’t even slightly tempted to give it a taste test.

Well what do you know? It stuck together and cleaned the side of the bowl like real cookie dough.

It was looking promising.

Ever see that old “B” movie, “The Brain that Wouldn’t Die”? It looked like this.

Dividing the cerebellum. Roll it, pat it…

I made four nice rolls, wrapped them up and went off to watch a murder mystery while it chilled. Two hours later it was sliceable. Really soft and kinda greasy, but sliceable.

Wahoo!

I noticed they didn’t have that awesome “baking cookie” smell while they were baking. No wafts of sugary goodness all through the house. No one came wandering into the kitchen.

Ta da! Cookies!

My four-year-old granddaughter did a taste test. She took two bites and put it back on the plate.

The verdict? “I don’t like these!”

I wonder if birds will eat them?